The Blog In The High Castle

My Apocalypse Team: Rocky Mountain Rambo Gary Brooks Faulkner

Posted in My Apocalypse Team, The Real World, The World Is Effed by CMO on Friday, June 18

I’m starting a new column on the Blog In The High Castle (BITHC) called My Apocalypse Team.

A couple friends, my brother and I have loose agreement if society collapses and we are left to fend for ourselves, a lá Mad Max, we’ll meet at a predetermined rural location and form a little group and set off together to survive. We’ve chosen each other because we think we each possess a trait that will be useful to surviving in a feudal, lawless, wasteland once known as North America, and maybe Asia, via the Arctic ice bridge.

An A Team. Where the A stands for Apocalypse. So far, we’ve got a doctor, a weapons specialist, a captain, and me.  I’m the Wildcard: Scams? Yes. Disguises? Hell Yes. Popsicle stick knives? 25 years experience. Making light of horrendous situations? Especially.

I can also kill. But ONLY if I had to. Then I’d throw up, and swear to never do it again. Until I had to do it again.

Anyway, the point is… I have decided to write a column where I highlight people I would accept onto my Apocalypse Team. People who may or may not have katana training, but who have  the unmeasurables, the intangibles, giving them the ability to thrive in the surreal hell world it would be.

My first inductee is Rocky Mountain Rambo Gary Brooks Faulkner. This ex-con is on a mission from God to cut Osama bin Laden’s head off, having made six trips to Pakistan looking for him.  Initially I thought he was just a Coot, caught in the woods of Pakistan with among other things, night vision goggles, a sword, some christian texts and a small amount of hash. But the more I read, the more it sounds like he may not have been so crazy.

From The Denver Post:

With his long, bushy beard and passable language skills, Faulkner was able to get weapons and move around the countryside with relative ease, his brother said. It’s not surprising that he purchased a sword.

So in summation:

  • Night Vision Goggles
  • Swords
  • Disguises
  • Language Skills
  • Small Amounts of Hash

These are all reasons to include him on My Apocalypse Team.  Plus every group needs an older christian ex-con, to tell you stories from the 70’s while while teaching you how to make a rabbit snare.

Thanks Dangerous Minds.

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