The Blog In The High Castle

I Wish They All Could Be Pretty Boys 2

Posted in Kidz These Days, The Real World by CMO on Saturday, February 20

Apparently the Guido phenomenon isn’t confined to the shores of Jersey. Pretty Boys 2: The Second Coming, a Danuido (Danish Guido?) compilation video from Denmark.  All set to seminal Rammstein song Du Hast.

I try to avoid perpertuating annoying fads, but I’ll take every chance I can stick it to the Danish. Take that enlightened magnificent Norse Gods! Stick that in your Hague.

PLUS!!! Pretty boy Hans Christian Anderson. It’s UN-CANNY.

AIDS-3D: Think about it.

Posted in Kidz These Days, The Internet by CMO on Thursday, February 18

Discarded Mask (2007)

Burning Bluetooth (2008)

Meet AIDS-3D, otherwise known as Daniel Keller and Nic Kosmas. Two American artists based in Berlin.  It’s hard to really describe these guys, but from the information I’ve gathered, I’d say they form feedback loop of what’s happening in the current art world to the point of abstraction or ‘Answering questions stoners ask with an absurd rhetorical question in the form of visual art.’ In other words: I like it, but I don’t get it.  I mean I get it, but only as much as someone can get it. Right?

In any case, they seemed to have blown up on the internet last year, so there’s a wealth of articles on them, which paint them to be irreverent and über-informed.

AIDS-3D Website

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Walter Van Beirendonck, Whimsy Much?

Posted in The Real World, Uncategorized by CMO on Saturday, February 13

Fashions from the ‘TAKE A W-RIDE’ Fall/Winter 2010/11 collection  by Belgian fashion designer Walter Van Beirendonck.

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Meme Generator

Posted in Kidz These Days by CMO on Saturday, February 13

This conversation, sparked by John Laroquettte’s cameo on Parks and Recreation, has been officially meme’d in 2 parts over at The Meme Generator. Check It Out!

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Conservatives, Where Do You Find This Stuff??

Posted in Kidz These Days, The Real World, The World Is Effed by CMO on Friday, February 12

Apparently, it’s illegal for gay couples to adopt children in Florida.

How is this possible?  I mean seriously, has Florida not seen ABC’s smash hit television show Modern Family? Not only are Mitchell and Cam fabulously gay, but they also have an adopted baby girl, Lily.

I watch that, and I think: They’re not so different. I’ve locked my keys in the car before TONS of times.

Point is, The Florida Family Policy Council of Orlando doesn’t want people to know that gays are people too. Well, normal people.

So when a judge ruled that a one year old child could be permanently adopted by his gay foster parents, the FFPCO sent out the following picture of said couple (on the left, with the actual couple on the right):

Before and After

From the article:

And to make their point about just how frightening this ruling was, the Policy Council included a photograph of the couple — a strange and androgynous-looking duo, one with bleached skin and both with mullet haircuts. The couple look so odd (you literally can’t tell whether they are male or female) that one might wonder how any judge could place a young child with such a disturbing-looking duo.

So instead of them being a normal, dare I say, beautiful lesbian couple, they have been transformed into some kind of mongoloid man-lady homunculus.  Insane, right?  The FCCPO had to have conjured this image themselves, because in my decades spent looking at ridiculous images on the internet, I have never seen such a stereotypically offensive photo, and  I’ve seen this:

Had Gay Dads.

And this:

Googled Woman With Mustache Smoking.

I’m not trying to say the women (?) portrayed in the picture aren’t people too.  The picture isn’t of two people. It’s imagery used out of context to evoke a specific reaction. Like I said before though, I wouldn’t be surprised if these two were actually members of the FFPOO, reprising their roles as Moe and Dale in their ‘Gay Is A Choice’ skit from the Annual Summer FFC3PO Summit on Lake Okefenokee.

Article: Religious Right Selfishly Turns Boy Into Pawn in Gay-Adoption Battle.

Walmart’s Got It All.

Posted in The Real World, The World Is Effed by CMO on Friday, February 12

This is footage of a man smashing 27 flat screen TV’s at a Walmart in Georgia with a baseball bat.

Where’d he get the baseball bat?  From the sporting goods department, duh!

Walmart truly is a One-Stop Crazy Person Having An Violent Impulse And Then Acting On It Place To Shop. I had a similar reaction a couple years ago: Christian at Walmart.

Now as funny as watching this man having his Falling Down moment is, I wish he’d been a little more creative in his execution.

Maybe say… smashing 27 flat screen TVs at Walmart by throwing Wii Remotes at them…

Or to emphasize his insanity he should have maybe pulled the Ol’ Forgotten Baseball Bat routine, ala Jam:

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Pretty, Pretty, Poltergeist: Girls and Ghosts.

Posted in Kidz These Days, The World Is Effed by CMO on Friday, February 5

I was cruising the Toys R’ Us website for The Storm Shadow G.I. Joe and Incredible Hulk Sound FX Hands, when I stumbled upon something very troubling. Apparently Hasbro made a Toys R’ Us exclusive Ouija board for girls aged 8+.

You Ouija, Girl!

From The Description:

It has always been mysterious. It has always been mystifying. And now the OUIJA Board is just for you, girl. With 72 fun questions included, you’ll never run out of things to ask. Who will call/text me next? Will I be a famous actor someday? Who wishes they could trade places with me?

Mysterious? Mystifying? You ask anybody who’s already superstitious and they’ll tell you about the time they were playing with their older cousin and asked ‘Who are we talking to?’ and the ouija board misspelled Beazulbub. Or when the board said it would kill them, and later they found scratches on their backs! Bad Juju.

Plus, isn’t this exactly how the Exorcist II started?

But seriously, with all the sexy tween Monster Squad dramatization zeitgeist swirling around us, I think Hasbro is positioning themselves for ‘Ouija Board: The Movie.’

Look to Girl-Ghost love movies of the 90’s: Ghost, Casper, and City of Angels. Oh yah, and what about Hollow Man? Well, technically it released in 2000, and didn’t feature a ghost but rather an invisible man. But it had a paranormal amount of invisible dude on woman action. You remember that? Scary, right?

Now imagine , a hunky shirtless ghost Taylor Lautner with his chiseled ghost abs haunting a 200 year old farmhouse in Alabama that Dakota Fanning’s movie family moves into.  After seeing him watching her from the attic while she does grave rubbings, their love affair starts when she figures out she can communicate with him through her Ouija board. Sexting ensues.

All Grown Up.

Mix that with the new clothing line Oh La La Cotoure fronted by  Noah Cyrus and BFF Emily Grace Reaves, and the only spirit girls worldwide will be able to summon is Gary Glitters’.

Update: Apparently, A ghost has abducted some little girls, and they’ve pulled the plug on the Pretty, Pretty, Poltergeist Ouija. There is now however a Glow In The Dark Ouija. I kind of want one now.

Growing Up On The Internet

Posted in The Internet, The World Is Effed by CMO on Tuesday, February 2

No kissing or yucky stuff.

Growing Up On The Internet is a compendium of Yahoo Answers of pre-adult questions. Scary and informative at the same time.  Let me rephrase that, Scary but informative.

A couple of my favorites include:

Is it worth spending 300 dollars on yugioh cards even though idk if will still be playin in 2 months?

Is masturbating uncool in society?

What should a 14-year-old wear going over to her boyfriend’s house?

My mum is not speaking to me and calls me a waste of her time!?

What do you think of those “artistic” girls?

Makes you want to have a buttload of kids, right?

preadult.tumblr.com

Pleasant. Forever.

Posted in The Internet by CMO on Tuesday, February 2

Introducing

Click To Launch

One of the more unsettling things I’ve seen on the Internet, Three people caught in a politeness infinity loop.  Keep watching. Especially the guy on the end. I imagine if that’s what the fourth ring of hell is like.

I also recommend checking out the rest of the website.  Intense Internetting. To put it in perspective, finding Moresoon was like seeing The Lawnmower Man in theatres. Ahead of its time.

Moresoon

Meet Toyama Koichi.

Posted in The World Is Effed by CMO on Saturday, January 23

Go on, call him.

Meet Toyama Koichi, Tokyo’s most promising politician. He’s pretty much the Japanese Ron Paul.  Refreshing, brutally honest, utterly charismatic, bald.  And that turtleneck!  Don’t even get me started on the turtleneck.  It screams casual chaos.

Now I don’t get involved in politics much, if only because I feel hopelessly futile under the current system and that’s ultimately why this guy speaks to me.  He’s a realist, he sees things for what they are.  Then he rants in a staccato rage for a couple minutes, before coming to his glorious conclusion.

He's got a point

I highly recommend watching.

Toyama Koichi

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